Marrying An Older Man
You know that you’re marrying for love, but chances are that if you’re marrying a man who is significantly older than you are, the rest of society won’t quite see it that way. No matter how much you profess to love each other, the first thing that will pop into other peoples’ minds is ’she’s after his money’.
There’s no doubt that marriage, any marriage, is hard work. And all marriages will face issues that can make or break the relationship. Marriage to a man who is old enough to be your father will present special challenges that you may not have considered.
Public perception. True it or not, if you’re the female half of a May-December marriage there are people who are going to call you a gold digger to your face. And they’re going to call your husband a cradle robber. Whoever said public perception was fair? And when you go out in public as a couple, be prepared for people to mistake you for father and daughter. (thick skin)
A growing family. Chances are your partner already has children; as a matter of act his oldest daughter is older than you are! How do you feel about that? Is your partner willing to have more children to satisfy your need to become a mother? Children can kill a relationship so make sure you iron this one out well in advance.
Longevity. You might as well face it now, chances are you’re going to outlive your partner. How much time you’ll have together depends in large part on how well he takes care of himself. If the trek from his chair to the beer fridge is all the exercise he gets, I’ll wager good money that you’ll not only be a younger bride, you’ll be a very young widow as well.
Downtime. When you’re not working, what do you like to do together as a couple? Will your partner be able to keep up with you as you get older? And consider too your social life. Couples with more than 20 years between them are of different generations and you may not want to hang out with people who resemble your parents, nor he with people he considers children.
Working versus Not Working. He’s 57 and if he hasn’t retired yet, he soon will, while you’re at the top of your game and have no plans or desire to give up working just yet. So how is he going to spend his time while you’re out earning a living? Will he resent the fact that you’re not home during the day or that you have to go out of town on business?
As you can see there are quite a few things to consider in a May-December marriage. Communication is key in any relationship and this one is no different. Make sure that you talk to your partner about your hopes for the future, and be specific so that there are not too many surprises in your future.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to our RSS feed!
